The Mystic On The line: Approaching Competition with an Expansive Mind

"Is a goal a direction or a limitation of imagination, or both?"

I was talking with an archery friend the other day, and we got to talking about competition, our goals and our methods for archery. Namely, we discussed mindset, and it hammered home the fact that I still don't feel in sync with a lot of the language and ideas around positive visualization and self talk.

Much of what I read and hear is about expanding the influence of the ego, not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that creates a narrative of who we are and our identity not only as an athlete, but as a champion. We create an internal dialogue of being indomitable, we expand the self to the size of our goals. It's almost a healthy delusion. Yet this feels at odds with my entire philosophical practice, which is centered on seeing myself, and the world, without narrative. The power of the mystic is that in destroying self, goals, and constructions, they are given a gift greater than what they ever wanted: liberation. We remove the self, we remove goals, and then we see we have everything, and the work becomes joyous.

But what good does liberation do on the line?

I think of my competitive archery career as an experiment to explore this, an arena to see what the wild eyed tantrica and the gray cowled Stoic does on the line. Make no mistake: I shoot for perfection. I shoot to learn from every damn shot. I shoot competitively. But do I shoot to see that I'm better than others, or that I'm better than myself? Do I shoot to have medals laid on my shoulders, or the feet of every archer after me? Is a goal a direction or a limitation of imagination, or both?

Indoor season didn't go great, nor did it go terribly for my first real season competing. I was disappointed, but the second I turned and stepped off the line, I was giddy with excitement to practice tomorrow. "Great, now back to the fun part: practice. Now for the fun part: to be on the line with my bow, to be with my body and mind."

As I prep for outdoor season, I'm thinking of this all again. I don't know how any of this will go, but do I even want to tell myself a story about where it might? Do I tell myself who I will be, what I will be, or do I watch and listen?